Dubai unveils Twatopolis
11-07-14 –courtesy Daily Mash

A MASSIVE dome full of the horrible things that twats like is to be built in Dubai.

The quintrillion-dollar air-conditioned monstrosity will contain ghastly hotels, pretentious shops and soulless bars called things like ‘Tyger’.

A government spokesman said: “Twatopolis will consolidate our city’s status as a hub for the biggest twats on the planet.

“Footballers, their dreadful wives, sleazebag billionaires and cackling middle-management hen parties will come in their droves because it is very big, very expensive and the weather is hot.”

Footballer Wayne Hayes said: “Can I buy shoes that cost more than a hospital? Are they very colourful and can I carry them away in big shiny bags? Can I then eat a burger while my wife gets some hot ‘healing mud’ poured on her? And then buy some shit art?

“Basically, is it vile? If so I am in.”